Grandpa
“Hi, call me Grandpa”. He said that to all of my friends, and that’s what they did, but biologically, he was only mine.By profession, Grandpa was a teacher; so I’d like to share a few lessons he taught me. These lessons are echoed in Pirkei Avos, the classic book of Jewish Ethics, and I’ll relate them by way of some memories of grandpa, Manny Gillers,
מנדל עמנואל בן בירל
"Shammai said: ... receive everyone with a cheerful countenance." (1:15).
Grandpa did exactly that - he received everyone, and they received him. In an instant, you were grandpa’s best friend. In fact, you were his fellow classmate from cheder, or so he told us grandkids. I really thought that the cheder of his childhood had been enormous, after all, its alumni spanned the East coast from Disney World to Boston.
One afternoon, while shopping for produce before Pesach, he shmoozed up the clerk to get a deal on the fruits and veggies. Actually, he probably didn’t even get a deal, but he wanted to catch up with his old friend. Right, his “old friend”. On the way out, I asked Chanani incredulously, “did he really go to cheder with that guy? That is so cool?!”. “No.” Chanani replied, “He just says that about everyone”.
Well, I was around 10 years old, and I had been fooled by grandpa, but you would have been too, had you seen the way he and the clerk got along. Grandpa really got along with everyone. His “cheerful countenounce” shined upon everyone.
Another wonderful thing about his “cheerful countenance” was that it manifested itself in his actions too.
I used to sleepover at my grandparents apartment in Brookline, through the beginning of high school. By the end of this period, the sleepovers were more to take care of them, but always, I loved hanging out with them, going through his drawers looking for all sorts of free trinkets, and finding quarters. I’d collect these quarters for a while, until I had quite a substantial sum. I think grandpa used to plant these quarters, because I scoured every single one in his drawers. It was kind of like a secret allowance he gave me.
Every time I went over there, the first thing he did was rave about my milkshakes. “Oooo, Yos, I’m soooo thirsty, I would love one of your famous milkshakes!”.
These famous Milkshakes were surely disgusting, but he made me feel like the real smoothie king. He’d rave about my smoothies. Really, they probably tasted gross. I mean, there was the freezer-burned ice cream, and the week-old fruits he had hoarded from the cafeteria upstairs. Well, I’ll never know how bad they were, because he made me think they were the most delicious smoothies in existence.
That was another beautiful thing about grandpa, when I was with him, nothing else in the world mattered. In fact, in almost did not exist. Grandpa gave us all his full attention and love. He knew how to make us feel really special. And he did that for everyone.
"Ben (the son of) Zoma said: Who is wise? He who learns from all people, as it is said: 'From all those who taught me I gained understanding' (Psalms 119:99) ... Who is rich? He who is satisfied with his lot, as it is said: 'When you eat the toil of your hands you are fortunate and it is good for you' (Psalms 128:2) ... " (4:1)
This mishna (teaching) highlights two more qualities of Gramps: (1) He was the perfect teacher - an eternal student, and (2) he was the richest man in the world - he was more than happy with whatever he had.
In the classroom, I’m sure he was wonderful, but as my teacher, forever he was fun and fantastic. He always listened to me, and always gave good advice. Every class project I had, I’d run it by grandpa, and see what he had to see. He had the most wonderful advice, and he’d always make it enjoyable.
Even the past few years in the hospital, I’d still get nods of approval or headshakes of disapproval on all of my expeditions. His approval meant the world to me.
Something about Grandpa that baffled me was that I never heard him complain or wish he had anything. He was so happy with everything he had. Satisfied, and knew how to make the most of everything:
Growing up, I thought it was normal to have disney figurines, compliments of a McDonald’s BigMac. I soon realised that McDonalds was not kosher, and that grandpa spent money on food he would not eat, just to get a “free” prize for his grandkids. I doubt he actually bought the meals, he probably just sweet-talked his way into free toys. Or he went to cheder with the local manager.
Another shtick of his, which was brilliant, was his prize-giving techniques. He would always have us compete for different prizes. The competitions could have been “who can run to the car first” or “who can spot a dolphin in the tunnel”. The prizes were always the same: a napkin or straw from dunkin donuts, or some other food chain.
"Rabbi Yishmael said, be yielding to a superior, gentle to the young (lit., black of hair), and receive every person with cheerfulness." (3:16)
He was beyond gentle to the young. Everything he did was so much fun, every child would love him in a second.
We made airplanes that flew quite well. These models were constructed from those old styrofoam cartons that come free with fruits and vegetables. My friends would come over and we’d make em fly!
He and grandma took us to Disneyworld when I was in second grade. My grandmother previously had hip surgery, so she was technically eligible for handicapped wheelchair access. So we got grandma a wheelchair, which got us all to cut the lines for the roller-coasters, and we sped our way through three days of euphoria. Not only did we skip all the lines, but we’d also get free rides in the wheelchair, switching off between me, Chanani, and Sa, because, thank G-d, Grandma could walk just fine.
He also taught me a new way to prepare food: the microwave. Not popcorn, but hot dogs and eggs. Well, to this day, I still think it’s pretty nifty, albeit a little strange, but delicious and pretty resourceful. A kosher holiday inn barbecue.
He also went to cheder with all the drivers of the disneyworld monorail system. Every time we’d hop on for a ride, Grandpa got us a sneak peak into the cockpit, sometimes we even got to take a turn at the controls. He had a way of making everything we did the coolest thing ever.
Grandpa had a funny place for soda can storage: his oven. Why did he do this? Because his cabinets were full of watches and trinkets. Oh yeah, and dishes. He was just a fun guy.
Dear Grandpa,
I know how much you loved flying, and since you left this world on Shabbos (sabbath), you’re flight is straight to heaven. Well, I’m sure you talked your way into the cockpit, and of course, went to cheder with the pilot. Would you do us a favor down here, and take care of us. Thanks. I love you.
Love,
Yosef
